If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
