i just google imaged poop.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
