Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
