Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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