i was born a porn star she said
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
