An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
