The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
