My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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