found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
