you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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