omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
