He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
