So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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