There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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