i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
two words: eviction party
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Houston, we have a squirter
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
