It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
