If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
