READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
