Pappa wants mamma naked
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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