I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
