No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My penis needs a shock collar
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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