Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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