first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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