Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
