your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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