is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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