I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
