i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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