Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
