I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
