Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
