her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
