I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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