somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
