): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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