Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
