I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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