Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
