she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize