I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
