Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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