omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
