You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
