the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize