Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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