I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
