Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
