you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
