you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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