Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
