And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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