her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
