never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
