I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
