i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
